It’s 4/20. Stoners unite world wide. In other news Doritos sales skyrocket 600%.
April 20 1233
Pope Gregory IX places the Inquisition, in existence since 1227, under the aegis of the Dominican Order. Torture is apparently sometimes necessary to save souls, and the office continues to exist today as the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.
April 20 1889
In Braunau, Austria, Klara Hitler gives birth to a bouncing baby boy named Adolf.
April 20 1979
President Jimmy Carter is attacked by a Killer Swamp Rabbit, while on vacation in Plains GA. The rabbit swam menacingly towards him, and he had to repel the ferocious creature with a paddle. There were no injuries. Press Secretary Jody Powell leaked the story to the press, and the White House had a lot of explaining to do.
April 20 1992
Alone in his apartment watching TV, British comedic legend Benny Hill suffers a fatal heart attack. His body goes undiscovered for four days.
April 20 1993
Latoya Jackson’s husband and manager, Jack Gordon, is arrested after allegedly beating her with a dining room chair in their New York apartment.
April 20 1999
After their homemade timebombs fail to detonate in the school cafeteria, the heavily-armed duo of Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold decide to prowl through Columbine High School, indiscriminately gunning down classmates. A total of 15 are killed in their shooting spree. Contrary to news reports, their selection of victims is apparently random; they aren’t hunting for jocks or blacks. Nor do they execute that Christian girl — Valeen Schnurr in fact manages to crawl away and live to tell her story. They are not goths, they aren’t gay, nor were they ever members of that dorky clique calling themselves the “Trenchcoat Mafia.” They don’t even listen to Marilyn Manson. Harris and Klebold are just a couple of extremely pissed-off kids with an arsenal.